The World I Want to Live In

I feel like a ten years old kid who was sent to a kindergarten and everyone around him care just about who has the best poods. Like I didn't belong to this age at all ...

It's dark, cold and foggy. I'm wrapped in my ski jacket and I'm comming back home from my English lesson. I'm frozen like a s*it (So much, yeah). I'm listening Waiting Game on the highest volume and I have that feeling when you feel like the music corresponds with the scene you're in and I feel like in the videoclip. I should study for two tests for tomorrow but instead of that I make myself a dinner, then cook a lunch for tomorrow and then I sit in front of the computer with a cup of my favourite tea with a feeling .. that I just have to write this post ...

Sometimes Very often I feel like I don't belong to the age category I'm in. I think about things I don't have to care about at all. I think about how mad this worlds is, how can I find a sense of life in this wicked society when others make excuses for their parents to let them go to a party. I'm terrified of horrible treating animals in the food industry, lack of water on the Earth  .. when others care about their school grades. Yep, I have depression because of school too, I angrily throw my books on the floor, I feel like crying. But not because of the bad school grades. I'm annoyed by the everyday school stereotype, by the fact I leave the school with no new knowledge, that we learn milions of things I'll never use and on the other hand I don't know anything about things I'll need for my future. I'm annoyed by the whole school system, lessons when only the teachers talk and we have to shut up and stupidly copy in our exercise books what's written on the board. I'm annoyed by the fact I don't see any sense of this all. And I'm also getting annoyed by the fact I chose "motivation for studying" as a topic for my essay when I personally lost any motivation at all ...

I don't like this age. I'd like to travel, decorate my own apartment, set up my dream restaurant and do something that would make me feel the days have some sense. Instead of that I just want to pack my bag and take the first train/bus/plane and go somewhere far away, to another country, to another community of people, to other age. Somewhere where I wouldn't have to gratuate high school to be able to attent Yoga trainer course. Somewhere where I could study the field I'm interested in instead of wasting time by studying something I will never get change to use. Somewhere where people are kind, nice, they help and support each other instead of envy and hate everyone who's better in something. Somewhere where people care about their health and don't go to the supermatkers to buy cheap salami, mayo spreads and virulently colored lemonades ...

I have no idea where this place is. Maybe I'll find it in my neighbourhood one day, maybe I'll have to wait until I'm full-aged and then travel the world. But I'll do everything to find this place ... ♥